My agent has just called . I was rather surprised to hear Christmas carols playing in the background given that we are only in August but it didn’t shock me too much. Nothing does with him these days. If I took one ounce of what he said to me seriously I would probably be in The Priory by now, a QUIVERING nervous wreck . Sensitivity is not one of his strong points shall we say.
"You've got the part" he said
I am stunned into silence.
"The drug addict part?" I mutter in astonishment.."but, but, I was ..so....so..."
"Bad" is probably the word I am looking for
"Apparently you were brilliant. You were, and I quote "angry,edgy and with a very realistic air of depression and desperation" exactly what they were looking for the director said."
I sit there jaw open in amazement. Fellow Actress is going to be gutted.Her plan to distract me totally backfired. Yipeee.
"Oh, and they needed someone who people recognised from the telly" he says, and then screams
"Sorry?" I say, "Are you talking to me?"
"No, its these silly reindeer.....good boy Dancer, thats better"
"How much?" I ask
"Equity minimum darling. £300 a week, its a three week run. Oh and rehearsals start tomorrow, be at the theatre at 10.30am"
Merry fucking Christmas.
"Gotta go and feed the boys. Be fabulous" he gushes and puts the phone down.
OMG. I am officially an actress again. How the hell did that happen?