Friday, 1 October 2010

It's All in the Eyes (and the Eyebrows)

So that's it. I've finished my 4 week (extended might I add...) run as Drug Addict Extraordinaire in The Play (Angelina Jolie eat your heart out) and its back to the doldrums of unemployment on Primrose Hill.

It has been an interesting few weeks. Not least because I have found that I am actually quite good at playing an angst ridden drug addict, but also because I finally managed not to shag my leading man for a change, despite the numerous opportunities I had.(hoorah!)

It has also been full of surprises, like the time when I get to the bit where I'm supposed to "turn the lights on" on stage , and the Stage Manager presses the wrong switch, plunging us into complete blackout. There is a saying that all actors need to do is "say your lines and not bump into the furniture," but , trust me, that's alot easier if you can actually see where you are going.

Or the time when we are told, halfway through the play, that Kevin Spacey is in the audience and we both totally forget our lines and have to improvise most of the second half (luckily the director isn't in so it doesn't really matter anyway...).

Or the time I am taking my bow, on my last night, and notice, to my astonishment, that cute CEO guy from the office is sitting in the second row.

 Later after I have transformed myself from Junkie to Harriett (ie washed my face), I come out of my dressing room and he is standing there at the bar, on his own, drinking a shandy.
I try to walk past unseen but its too late. He has already spotted me. He waves. I sidle over

"Didn't thing this would be your kind of thing?" I say

"To be honest it's not, but I saw it reviewed in Time Out and thought I'd give it a go." he says. "You were good." he adds, sounding somewhat surprised.

"Thanks" I blush

"So I take it you didn't fancy that drink then?" he says and does this funny sort of twitch with his eyebrows.

 I know that twitch.Where do I know that twitch?

"Aha. So thats why you came...?" I wink knowingly and give him a nudge.

He looks embarrassed and twitches again. " I didn't even know you were in it.." he murmurs.


"I didn't even know you were an actress."


"What did you think I was?"

"A receptionist?"

Oh . Yeh.

"Yeh, well sorry about that,I''ve been a bit busy and , well, I'm not sure I'm up for drinks and dating and all that know..."

He looks disappointed and I feel this wierd mixture of pleasure at pissing off a man ( hence destroying part of mankind, albeit a tiny non deserving part) and , well, just sadness.

And then he does that eyebrow wiggle again and it dawns on me. I know exactly where I've seen that before. MR BIG does it!! To Carrie. In Sex and The City.
And just like that, I think, Fuck it, fuck Dom and Betty. Its time to move on. Its time to meet a real MR BIG and not pine over a Mr Not So Big Atall actually. and I say,

" You know what. I would love to go for a drink with you." and I scribble my number down on a beer mat and hand it to him, sling my bag over my shoulder, then head out of the door and back down the road to that special place where only a chosen few can venture. A place where all your wildest dreams and your worst nightmares can come true . "The Land Of Resting Actors"



  1. Woo Hoo Mr. Big! Hope this one turns out to be a good one :)

  2. Every girl needs at least one Mr Big in her life... hope we get to hear about the drink :-)

    Congrats on your extended run!

  3. Mr Big has got some big answering to do. He has ruined most other men for all women kind ;)